I’ve always been the chubby girl, and several people throughout my life have had no problem reminding me of that. It was mainly in elementary through high school (which, in retrospect, was a long time to be reminded that you’re imperfect by world standards), and I think that at some point most people mature enough to see that, while physical appearance may still be a major aspect of their own lives, being couth is a lot more socially appreciated. Most adults (at least the decent ones) won’t flat-out call someone ‘fat.’
Living seven hours away from most of my friends and family means that I don’t see them all that often. But when I do, sometimes one will comment that I’ve lost weight. Now, I probably have lost weight. Since Matt and I are on a limited budget, I cook most of our meals, and I try to create healthy, veggie-filled dishes that give us lots of nutrients and still fill up my husband’s bottomless pit of a stomach. But losing some weight has not been the most exciting thing that has happened to me since that person saw me last. I’ve moved to a new state, started a new job, and gotten married. Those are all more exciting than shedding a few pounds. So while no one has called me fat, my own personal body weight has still been made into someone else’s business. I am still being judged, categorized, and recognized by the size of my jeans. I recognize that most mean ‘You’ve lost weight!’ as a compliment, but it’s probably the worst compliment ever. Because it sets one's worth as a number.
I’ve heard, what feels like, every possible reasoning as to why someone else’s weight is anyone else’s business, from good Samaritanism to the cost of healthcare. Rationalizing it only further identifies people by a number, the one in their pants or on their scale. We are humans, though, not numbers. We are not numbers in the eyes of God; He didn’t assign us a number at our creation and keep a spreadsheet of how we’re doing. He knows us all by name, by accomplishment, by struggle, and by effort. I firmly believe that the things I have accomplished are worth more than my rising or falling pants size. I believe that entering into the covenant of marriage, exploring my new city, and furthering my career are far more interesting talking points than whether or not I’ve lost weight. I believe that God is more concerned with my desire to better love Him and His creations than my weight.
J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, said once, "‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?... I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons."
If you’ve read the series (or seen the movies), you’ll recognize Hermione as the sharp-as-a-tack, resourceful, brilliant, caring witch who advocated for better treatment of house elves, fought in numerous battles, and saved Harry’s and Ron’s skins more than a few times. While Pansy Parkinson was an all-around bully, constantly teasing others and reveling in their sorrows. She goes so far as to laugh at the memory of the late Cedric Diggory and to suggest handing Harry Potter over to Lord Voldemort for certain death. It doesn’t take much thought to rationally conclude that we should all want our daughters and ourselves to be more like Hermione.
No one comments about Hermione’s weight or hair or complexion. No one cares that she’s a bit of a frizz ball; people care that she stood up to evil. And I seriously doubt that Hermione ever spewed the compliment, ‘You’ve lost weight!’
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